Maybe that sports car in your driveway isn’t making you as happy as you think…
In the medical world, we are often fortunate to be on the higher end of the income-earning spectrum. Yet, I think it’s safe to say that we certainly aren’t on the higher end of the happiness spectrum.
We live in a materialistic culture. A quick look around the physician parking lot in my hospital will reveal a lot of Porches, Benz’s, and Beemers. Most of my colleagues live in million-dollar houses (although that isn’t saying much in Toronto), and live expensive lifestyles. At the surface, there’s nothing wrong with that.
I also see many colleagues working extra long hours, weekends, nights, and picking up extra shifts. They’re tired, they’re cranky, and yet they’ll pick up that extra weekend night shift. They seem overworked and miserable. I’ve been there.
A mentor of mine in residency once told me about the value of “doing things and not having things”. He was in his mid – 50’s, had taken multiple sabbaticals and spent a large part of the year sailing with his family. And he seemed like one of the happiest…and for that matter, healthiest……doctors I’d ever met. He was a darn good doctor too. It just seemed like he was on to something.
But where should I put my priorities? I mean, I need things. I wouldn’t mind a better car or a bigger house. But if I’m concerned with what makes me happier, then how should I allocate my precious income and time?
Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a researcher at Cornell, has spent much of his career trying to answer this question. Experiences or things?
His research suggests that people derive more satisfaction from experiential purchases over material ones.
Here are some reasons why Dr. Gilovich thinks it’s better to spend on experiences.
1. We define ourselves by our experiences.
We are the sum of our experiences, not of our things. If we were writing a memoir about our lives, we would discuss what we’ve done and not what we’ve owned. These experiences are more tied to our sense of self than are objects we’ve purchased. Think about how your experiences have shaped you.
We are what we do, not what we have.
2. It’s harder to compare experience
We know that we live in a culture of comparison. We often judge ourselves by our standing relative to other people. For instance, that laptop you own might be nice, but if you found out your friend bought the same one for half the price, it suddenly doesn’t feel as valuable.
Gilovich has found that experiential purchases are less prone to social comparision. They’re harder to line up, feature by feature and are thus less influnced by the experiences of others. When it comes to that vacation you had, comparisons to others don’t matter as much.
3. We habituate less to experiences
“One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation. We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.” – Thomas Gilovitch
Some might think that we appreciate material things more over time because they stay with us for longer. Experiences pass. But in our minds, the opposite happens. We get used to what we own. But we tend to cherish and relive the memories of what we experience. We are also more likely to talk about them, and they are more strongly tied to our sense of self. With time our feelings about experiences actually improve while material feelings fade.
4. Experiences create social connections
Our experiences often help us connect to other people. People are far more willing to tell you about the trip that they took than about the TV they just purchased. We are far more likely to share our stories and pictures with others. Experiencing something with someone makes us like it more, and it brings us together. We are social beings, and improving our social connections makes us feel happier.
So as I continue to explore what might provide me with greater happiness, I’m reminded that it might not come in the form of working harder, having more and experiencing less.
So I’m motivated to drop that extra shift, and get out and do something that I love.
What makes you more happy? Items or experiences?